
J.D. Isip
December 2022

J.D. Isip is from Long Beach, California, but has lived the last decade or so in Plano, Texas. He received his MA from California State University, Fullerton, and his PhD from Texas A&M University-Commerce. He currently holds his dream job of being a Professor of English at Collin College in North Texas. His poetry, plays, short fiction, and essays have appeared in a variety of journals and magazines. His first full-length collection, Pocketing Feathers, was published by Sadie Girl Press (2015), and his next collection, Kissing the Wound, will be published next year from Moon Tide Press. J.D. serves as an editor for The Blue Mountain Review. Culturally, he is Filipino and Mexican and very gay. Socially, he’s a nerd with a love for Disney, Star Wars, comics, and Christmas. His biggest fans are his dogs Ivy and Bucky (though their poetry feedback is quite harsh).
CARMELITOS EVER AFTER
Ghetto superstar, that is what you are
Every night, every time the bank account is empty,
it calls to me, its many voices who lived and died there
in the cold concrete tombs, lined with the finest
layaway treasures of Welfare Queens and Ghetto Kings
forever fanning themselves on the porch
calling innumerable children
back to the fold
Coming from afar, reaching for the stars
Can you believe anyone ever wanted to live in the projects?
It broke ground in 1939, fifty acres, 67 buildings
with thick cement walls in case Long Beach became
the next Pearl Harbor which never happened
but we sent our Japanese to the camps anyway.
Run away with me, to another place
Come home, little children! Come home! The chorus:
Mother May Bell Moses, selling Styrofoam cups of frozen
Kool-Aid, her twin girls glaring down at you if you ain’t
got a dime you ain’t gonna get what they have, a drink
in the SoCal sun, a line of barefoot hoodrats
bouncing from foot to foot, double-dutching
in place, still there, Come home!
We can rely on each other
Carmelitos Housing Development—“they meant well”—
offered mostly black families, and us,
shelter with indoor toilets and bathtubs
hard-won luxuries lauded by the NAACP as a win
for poor souls looking for a better life
From one corner to another
I dream myself the first ghetto mutant, a telekinetic, able
to burn it all down, hands outstretched blasting those walls
lifting the May Twins into the stratosphere, creating a vortex
to swallow the hood up whole, every last dealer, boombox,
the bread man selling diabetes pies for twice their worth,
“This is not the promised land!” I say, every time I wake up
and find it part of me.
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THERE'S A MONSTER AT THE END
I was in love with what I feared
I was full of dangerous combinations
Joshua Marie Wilkinson, “How the Past Cheats”
Who could not relate to Grover who told you as if to assure himself again and again
he is loveable and kind and brave though, of course, he is also a monster—who,
at the moment, is begging you, “Please don’t turn the page!”
“I am staying in the lines,” my niece would say to her four-year-old self, “I am staying
in the lines, Uncle,” as she colored in ponies and flowers, her little fingers gripping
each red, yellow, green—page after page, year after year, until
And you know it is coming, like it did with your little sisters, with her sister, who
looked so pained to say, “I don’t color anymore” which strikes you as a sad sort of
declaration, as if to say something absurd like, “I don’t do ice cream… or happy”
When a puppy is imprinting, she will apply any future event to a past experience,
which is why Holly trusted me, even as the needle went in, the vet incensed I could not
pay (just) a couple thousand to keep her alive—
My brother said she was the most beautiful in the litter, and cost him a fortune, only
his ever-busy wife could not make the time, and Holly fell to me, a vacuum space
filled with dog-love for fifteen years, who sobbed harder for her than I did for mom.
“Let me,” I had run a bath for him, tested the water, watched my lover sink in,
his skin getting brighter, his dark hair wet and flat, his smile as my hand and the soap
slid over his shoulders, around his neck, holding my hand, he said, “You really love me?”
We ended in Charles de Gaulle, racing to catch our flight, harried, two men too old—
back then!—to have been so wrong, to have misread our affections and ourselves,
to scream so loud the French police had to pull us, pull me away from us, I really did.
I want water that doesn’t go cold, all of my little ones, my dogs, and lovers
who let me love them, wash them, wrap them, warm them, hold and rock them
to know how much they take when they leave me, to pause
Skip past how I failed or disappointed or disappeared, recall my better self, who
was loveable and kind and brave, who really did love them, who, perhaps, could not
show up, or pay the bill, or forgive—who, to be honest, was a monster in the end.